Eat Shit and Die

Myspace and shit cakes!

2005-10-07T21:33:00.000-05:00

Ok Ok listen to be honest myspace is gayer then Libacrotchy playing a baby grand piano and I have no time really to fuck around n gayness!! However i do love to head on it here and there and leave my friends REAL friends that is funny ass comments that is so popular with me! My name is changed to protect myself. I cant date dudes on myspace anymore or do the nasty. Fanny has made poor choices and paid the price at the end. So that is another reason why i changed dudes freak me out. LET MAKE THIS CLEAR fanny is done with guys but I am NOT A LESBO! i love guys and a little making out here and there and a freak of a freak in the sheets! why do i write this because i can! and shit on this shit fucking tom cruise knocked up his daughter OOPS i ment his wife! ILL!

a eulogy

2005-10-06T15:42:00.000-05:00

once again, Fanny has died another myspace death. and that place is never the same without her. despite its uselessness to society, she still leaves the best myspace comments that ever existed. i propose we stage an intervention and tell her how much we miss her. come back fanny. come back to the light.

What ever went wrong? shit asses shit mother asses!

2005-10-01T21:48:00.000-05:00

Man ok so i'm at the folks eating candy as always on my apple and reading one of my many fav mag! PEOPLE! on this months cover is WHAT WENT WRONG? meaning renee zellweger and Kenny chensey short like what 5 month wedding? ok ok let me say this like i give a flying fuck about jerry mcgwire skinny bitch and her 10 gallon bucket hat man. Listen i will tell you what went wrong kids if you all really want to know. Everyone with money are just plain assholes. Like if one things you can head on some benefit and homeboy with his10 bucket gallon hat starts singing "i look sexy on my tractor" to raise money for the Tsunami and you chubby ass then pail skinny bridget jones looks up and says " now that is the man i am going to marry" shit come on now! l will never understand why these rich people piss out millions and less for a wedding then just get divorced like a year or short later. listen SHOW ME THE MONEY bitch and tell your 10 gallon hat man that his songs suck and i rather get eaten out by a great white then listen to his music!!! thanks and good night

BLACK and WHITES lets all get together

2005-09-07T19:46:00.000-05:00

OK folks damn this is my 3rd in a week I am so getting back into things. SO lets get to this thing shall we!!
Ok so you all know about that terrible hurricane that effect New Or so bad! I really feel bad for those people but what I cant understand is Hollywood people. so we have kayna west what ever his gay ass name is ok first of all this dude looks like fucking Corky from life goes on mixed with Dog shit and fucking that asshole from fresh prince show his like cousin or something that rich fat chubby black dude yeah so there you go. so ok he goes off on how Bush hates black and bla bla bla well i saw kayna west on Punked one time on MTV and if you all saw it you guys will understand. first of all he is not black fuck that he is whiter then my ass ok! Dude talks way to much shit infact they should have kept his mouth shut when he got into that near death death bus crash then things would be better we not have that"southside shit" so yeah so going back to punk that black dude was filming a video and they took his film aways for the prank and kayna went ape shit and told that guy ok are you ready that he has a flight to catch to paris. Now this is the part that he is whiter then white. they way he said it......La Par'is he said it like a white homo listen mr west go off as much as you want on bush asshole but i see it that you are whiter then white go live in the ghetto and then get back to me.....and this leaves me to shit ass hally berry that bitch all crying at the oscars OH it is about time you all had an african american win bbla bla bla BITCH YOUR MOM IS WHITE@ you are not BLACK shit up! i want to see a real african bitch up there all in that towl shit with like shit in her nose like the tribes then that is THE first real african american to win an oscar man all you so called blacks shit up! before fanny slaps your ass!

"Girl give me that pussy"

2005-09-04T23:35:00.000-05:00

WOW is that a song that took you more then 8 months to write? Like is it me or does that shit just suck i mean these rappers making shit ass music that talks about pussy benetlys shit i cant spell so bare with me....anyways back to my point....yeah like the ying yang twins "whisper in your ear" if you all do not know that song it makes me ill everytime. The idea of those 2 ugly ass dudes that look like rats that scurry in a pile of shit with jansports backbacks whisper that they want to tare my pussy up well that would me make me ill. I rather get eaten out by a great white. man i am broke as shit and these mofos make money out of there asses rapping about pussy and shit. so i am going to be a rapper...my name will me Missy cocker....and i will rap about cock and penis and BMW's. here is a sample of that is to come on my first album......"I want to whisper in your ear boy....you cock is like a toy.....i want to wind it up.....lick it up.....sip it up......boy give me that cock....hard as a rock......shit whuuuuuutttt shit my album drops soon!
peace
"

shit!

2005-08-30T19:52:00.000-05:00

Sorry folks for the long ass delay i have been in a shit ass runt...being a ho on the side is not easy on a girl and liking a boy is a lot of work and not worth it so therefore i say everyone can eat shit and die....look at this shit going on....if i have to read anymore about shit ass fucking angelina and brad and her fucking babies i will die. ok is it me or people that do good for the earth or anyrthing in that manner are praised as these good soul people. like planting trees, feeding the hungry, then these are the same people that will go home and fuck a dude that is still married or be a cock blocking bitch. but they planted a tree so there are good to go and help out others with the love of god. fuck this i am going to join some missionary ass work shit for god adopt some black babies and fuck married men and plant trees and call it a day!!! It is what god would want!

the hungry life

2005-07-25T22:48:00.000-05:00

fanny and i were talking about the age old dilemma of getting older and getting fatter. say what? you know how your metabolism slows... you fall into the 9 to 5 trap... you sit on your ass all day and you'll be damned if working out is what you really want to do when you get home. but you end up doing it every so often so you don't feel like a fatty. i dunno how all these hollywood bitches get so skinny. that shit must be easy when you have nothing to do all day and endless money to spend. sluts! i want that job.

fanny and i live the glamorous life, but without love it ain't much

Listen all you assholes!

2005-07-22T18:16:00.000-05:00

Yes this is the one and only fanny she is back it has been a long time since you all have heard anything from me in like months. Brian so sorry i have been lazy I am going to call you up asap and we will get together and have lunch with your wife! travis you still are crazy ok and shit on this i am lazy already so that is all. I need to read something tonight to piss me off and then i will blog it tonight! cheers

sorry bro, i don't have any cash on me

2005-07-05T11:18:00.000-05:00

did you watch the live 8 concerts? me neither. did you care? yeah, me neither! i guess i can give bob geldof an E for his effort, but he didn't make me any more aware of africa's plight than i have been since i've been able to watch television. THIS JUST IN: AFRICA IS POOR! yes, it's terrible, but i can't ever buy the whole celebs getting together for the greater cause of humankind. as pictures like this show... it looks like another photo op. cool logo... africa looks great as a golden wonka bar/rockin' guitar. if all the uber concerned "artists" spent half as much time donating their cashola as they did talking out their kaballah water soaked a-holes, maybe it might help. maybe i'm just mean! do i care? no. i'm guessing maybe five people total went to the concerts worried about africa, while the rest went to see madonna be a bitch like usual!

paris gets in touch with her roots and finds time to save africa

guess who's back?

2005-06-30T07:50:00.000-05:00

no, not fanny. it's me, jenn, again! joining fanny's quest to put celebrities in their place. as i was sitting on the crapper this morning, i got really angry about the jessica simpson remake of these boots are made for walkin'. what is this turdfest! that slut just threw it in in the dirt, shit on it and then covered it up with her back feet... and the smell still fills the air. that's no surprise though cuz she took a huge dump on take my breath away as well. i'm so tired of redone, recycled, remade stuff that just comes out as stinky diarrhea. rarely do people get it right... which should tell them something. they suck! no originality or creativity at all. oh so my point was jessica simpson is a huge whore of a slut. take your boots and walk 'em right off a cliff!

jessica simpson isn't good enough for my cat to poop on!

filling in for fanny: doughnut style

2005-06-21T14:18:00.000-05:00

ok you guys. i know we're all jonesing for fanny to post. yet at the same time we know she is one trick ass beyotch. so i took it upon myself to invite myself into her blog to give you an update.

lately, she can't always gain access to the internet and her life just calmed down again from a bunch of drama. she's such a queen. anyways, she has met a nice boy she likes who likes her back and she moved into a new apartment with her other friend jen. who of course is not as good as me. well, the new place is a stone's throw from the airport and she goes there a lot a la tom hanks in the terminal to bathe in sinks and run around in her underwear. she hasn't been caught yet. tell her how much you miss her, maybe it will convince her to come back and comment on fiddy cent's advances towards lindsay lohan.

candy shop!

2005-02-22T21:54:00.000-05:00

ok so I have to put my cents in with the new 50 cent video and rap song called "candy shop". Ok is it just me or does he always look like he has a log of shit in his mouth when he raps. When he raps all i see is corky from life goes on but black. Ok so he is rapping about candy shop right meaning him and sex. For one I would be pissed because I would not want to make love to a guy that looks like a black corky. Second I would be pissed because he kinda of tricks you right. Like I would be so happy if 50 invited me to the candy shop I would get starburts, chocolate, snickers, and other good stuff! But then for him to be like I'll let you lick the lolly pop I would be sweet! Becuase I lvoe some blow pops but to find out he means his penis! Ill!!! ILL!! dude i rather lick a goats ass then his penis!
hey 50 kiss my ass i tell you what take your corky ugly ass fanny is going to get her candy at walmart it is cheaper and better!

jen

2005-02-13T16:06:00.000-05:00

I am so needing a nice little weekend get away this summer so therefore I shall invite myself to jen and johns place if she allows me! I miss having my best of friends around and the good old days.....get ready ho this summer is ours we will take savannah and show them what is up!

scarface?!@#$%

2005-02-11T22:31:00.000-05:00

So I am going to leave this one short tonight I am kinda beat. But last night I was up all night watching TV and they had scarface on. Ok I saw that along time ago like along time ago I acaully remember my dad bringing it home and my mom making me cover my eyes on most of the parts. But as I watched it as an adult I just could not see what the big deal was? Ok he was a good actor in it I am not even going to talk down on that but what is it with ghetto ass rappers and scarface? I mean cribs is hella gay ass nations with the rap stars! It is the same old shit you know everything is white, gold, bla bla bla and scarface hell trick daddy has a scarface curtain! I wounder if he got that at targets during the holidays? But yeah so the ending got me I thought to myself ok this movie is hella gay for one him sniffing his own shit on the table made me laugh then that globe in his fountain that said "the word is yours" But the end made it for me the guy that finially killed tony looked like Corky romano!! That was it for me i give that movie 2 stars the best part to me was corky romano blowing his ass into that fountian!!
shout outs to trick daddy!

Trumps 4 million dollar wedding all I can say is YOUR FIRED!

2005-02-10T22:42:00.000-05:00

YOUR FIRED! Ok so today I had my favorite mags with me which are People, US, and Intouch which is basically US but more ghetto and only 1.99! But going back yeah so all of them had something on trumps big ass wedding!! Ok let me start out by saying this dude has shit loads of money right? Why in the hell won't he do something with his carpet hair?? For real his hair looks like a dead squirrel tail that has been in the road for like 9 days then finally the sun dried out the blood and the POOF the tail was poofy then placed on top if his head all I can say is CLUSTER GANSTA MOTHER FUCKER! You need a flow-B for that tail! If I was invited to the wedding I would get him a 30.00 card at the Hair cuttery.
Next his new bride. Ok she looks like all of his past brides number one she is pretty but doesn't trump know if he did not have money nor if he was trump that he would be like married to Melissa Considine and for those who don't know her she is the new William Hung from American idol go check her out!
Ah ok I am just talking to much now her dress is awful of course when you are loaded you need like 2 dressed her first one was Dior. Let me say it looked like she went to Spanish sweet 16 party or better yet she went into a Lauren Ashelys show room or Liba crotchys home and just rolled in fabric and called a day. And for gifts everyone got these black hoodies with Dons and her side profile! Come on! Who is the hell wants to wear that shit? I would not be surprised if you see one of those at a bingo hall game. Over donalds hair looks like a dead squirrels tail! She looked like a Spanish sweet 16 whore and her dress was just shit loads of fabric taken from Liba Croctchys home! I guess that is where she got her jewerly to. I give it 2 years!

Jlo and husband number 89374598735689.2

2005-02-09T21:26:00.000-05:00

Jenny from the block better stop getting married number one ok. it was bad enough that we had to see her all over the papers with her ex ben. Ok that was god awful and i hate that fact that this bitch can rap and sing about how she is jenny from the block come on slut ho bag first of all you were a dancer on in living color and to be honest you looked like a pr hobag lesbian! no one ever noticed you at all then oneday you get noticed and deside to loose weight and get a tan then lighten your hair and bammo everyone is on you like flys on shit!

dammit then what is up with your ass? who gives a rats ass about your ass!!! shti i have big tits and i am not making any money off them but it seems that you also make money off your ass! hell man....it was bad enough to see ben tap that ass on your video but everytime you are in the paper it is your ass that makes headlines. why didnt people notice your ass on living color?

ok your new husband is ugly he looks like a rat that got fuckeed over after a terrible volacano in pommpii and he came back to life from being under the ashes... his eyes bug out and this is the so called man you are married to? I give it 2 years then it is over. I think p diddy was your best man do to the fact that you 2 came up from shityy child hood and you still cry about it boo hoo bitch you need to shit up! fanny will smack your ass

you just need to go with your rat volacno husband and be gone with it
and do another gay movie such as wedding planner part 2. this is fanny from the block i use to have a little and still do

2005-02-08T22:40:00.000-05:00

2005-02-08T22:39:00.000-05:00

This is it.

2005-02-08T22:12:00.000-05:00

This is my first blog ever